Regret and Redemption

Regret has proven to be the worst feeling that my body is capable of feeling. And so I make it a point to always follow my heart. I thought this would lead me away from choices that I would regret. Yet I am beginning to realize that regret is simply an unavoidable component of life.
There are always at least two options when you make a choice. But no matter if you follow your heart, your mind, or just flip a coin, you can't always make the right decision. It is humanly impossible.
People say life is about choices. No, life is about how we handle the consequences of our choices. If life is about choices, then we live in a bleak world; no one makes good decisions all of the time. Most of us don't even make good decisions most of the time time. Human nature is self-destructive. We naturally lean towards bad choices. But if life is about how we handle the results, how we cope, then everyone has a chance at redemption.
Redemption. That is what it's really all about when you are looking for happiness. I'm not talking about apologizing to people or paying them back for something you did. That is great, but I'm talking about self-redemption. That is what really can change your view on life. When you make a bad decision redeem yourself to yourself. When we make a bad choice, whether it is to ditch class, walk away from a relationship, from a friendship, whether it is to hurt a family member, to take those drugs, to drink that alcohol, to judge people, to ignore a phone call from a hurting friend, or even to just sleep in and be late to work, we see a chance to make things right here. When you wallow in your regrets, you are losing the game. Find the way to make things right. Things will never go back to the past, that isn't what redemption is about. Make the situation you are in now work just as well, if not better for you than the past.
Redemption isn't about making things the way you wish they were. It's about finding a way to make the consequences of your actions positive. Find the good and concentrate on growing it instead of harping on your regrets. Life will be so much brighter in the end.

Limbo

I haven't blogged in a long time. Life is changing and I'm not really coping with it at the moment. I constantly feel overwhelmed by everything that is going on. I feel like I have so much on my mind and so much to do, but when I sit down and really try to get anything done, there really isn't that much I can do. It just seems as if life is moving too quickly, but it's completely out of my control. I can't grab hold of much or do anything for myself. I'm just along for the ride. Everyday just seems like another step deeper into a life that is going in a million directions but never getting anywhere.
There is not enough time in a day, yet I just want every day to end quicker. I need more hours to do everything, but I want to just move on to a new stage in my life.

There is no conclusion to this blog post because I haven't yet come to a conclusion about what to do or think. I'm still floating in what feels like limbo to me, so we will see where it takes me.